If I Eat my Weight in Chocolate?

I often find myself wondering what would happen if I ate my weight in chocolate. I've wonderered whether I would grow a tail, or become obese, or just be happy. Then I find myself wondering how many ounces of chocolate does each problem deserve. Does a fight with Mike equal eight ounces? Is twelve ounces too much when dealing with work related issues? Is it even possible to eat my weight in chocolate?

These are the questions that plague me each night as I go in search for some type of chocolatly goodness. Then I find myself looking at the mirror in disgust after inhaling a king size candy bar. My problem is not a lack of magnesium, or even a lack of self control, it's that I have become to passive. I started allowing people to vent their frustrations and take advantage, because I have become passive. I was so proud of myself for becoming passive aggressive yesterday that I thought I deserved a pat on the back, then I realized that wasn't the answer either.

Is there an answer? No. Is there even a question? Yes, why is it at thirty-one, I find myself still in the same battles I fought in high school?